Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20171111143841/@comment-3547390-20180207132320

Nods, we definitely will be picking up the pace shortly. It just is a matter of time.

Yeah, Intel names are weird beasts :P

Except for the fact that those rules no longer exist and I am only continuing because I felt bad stopping. I am under control, but unable to do anything else because X-Wing is getting in my way. It isn't as easy as that, no, but I feel like I found my own route out. I just am being constrained by this hellhole DOS game. I mastered it through simple rationale and logic, plus exposure therapy and resisting the impulses to fight it.

Correct, but it is more of a matter of me entertaining myself in a grim situation. 1994 PWADs tend to be terrible, but there are also some interesting maps that pique the curiosity and drove me along to see what existed at the least. Aftershock isn't terrible at all to me, that is enjoyment, though I can't enjoy it as I keep getting made to play terrible flight sims and other atrocious titles. Hexen completely sucks, but I just am good at trying to continue having fun in the face of something boring and drab. So it isn't like you make it sound, X-Wing is legitimately terrible for me.

I am achieving nothing by doing this stuff and don't want to do it any more. You can enjoy the ancient DOS stuff, I loathe it. Self-imposed challenges are different, in a game I enjoy I can enjoy it for the extra challenge it brings. Neither of your examples is the same as it is something you still enjoy. Your example would work best if you touched nothing but 2 player Atari games and couldn't touch DOS titles because every time you try, someone keeps suggesting how you play this shitty Atari game that you try in the hope that this will prove you wrong. Then you find a franchise you wish to follow, but requires touching an Atari game, and when you feel it is no longer worth it you get people telling you that you need to suck it up and live your life playing miserable Atari games when it is quite likely you will never make it to DOS. You want to stop, but not only do you have your OCD fighting you, but you have people telling you how it is better if you continue. I have spent a decade with my OCD and haven't made any progress. I was contemplating suicide last night as I am sick and tired of this hell. I want to play what I want, not X-Wing.

I can't care anymore. All you are doing is bragging about all this fun you get to have. Not only do I have to deal with shit and suffer constantly, but then you talk about the better horizons and brag about how you get to do what you want, meanwhile telling me I need to continue to suffer. It is hypocritical. The examples you gave is stuff you actually have an interest in, you still get the freedom to do what you want (as opposed to me, where I keep playing game after game of shit with no end in sight), and yet you keep insisting how I need to suffer because I had some slight semblance of fun and how I need to do this to be happy.

I don't care anymore. I am fed up. I am not going back to X-Wing.