Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20180827202615/@comment-3547390-20191111000833

Nods, quite such. There is no real connection I can feel to others, since everything about me seems to be some disorder others don't seem to have. My tastes are off, what I am cynical about is off, it just feels like life isn't made for me. Are you familiar with schizophrenia? I may have it, though it seems the delusion part of it comes and goes more often than not.

Precisely, sounds are used as a way to provide dread, meaning you want sounds that definitely strike into you. You know, in hindsight, some of the sounds even remind me of a Vampire Ancient. They were made by taking the basic Fiend sounds and playing around with sound editing software to come up with some good results, but you definitely get a Vampire Ancient vibe.

You are very right, at best we will get the occasional new page that has some incoherent nonsense. Plus you got to be on guard with all the people insane enough to merge Armagon with base game content. Generally, this isn't a Wikia that needs much monitoring to maintain at all. Well, except for the Quake 5 era, that was indeed a disaster. It was also an important lesson about keeping things objective on the Wikia. I still remember the nightmare of Sonic the Hedgehog ripoff stories. Of actually trying to design up templates for people that they would refuse to use. Of having it all bleed into the rest of the site, with character pages for that Hedgehog.

I am quite glad to hear that this isn't just me. I have always had a bit of unhealthiness here I never really mentioned; one big reason I had to stop the Achievements was because I hated competitions. Another reason however was because I actually was getting affected negatively by it back then; there was a time I edited for multiple days straight without doing much else to the point I ended up needing to get bags of water put back in me. That level of pressure was just unhealthy, especially as it all became about them. Removing them allowed the focus to go fully on the actual content, which led to a much healthier situation.

You are exactly right. I mean, I came on when Raadec and company was still here, but I carved my own niche in a way. I can note a lot of my handiwork throughout the Wikia as a lot of things were very fresh, they required proper standards and so therefore I was the one who made most of the standards. I remember the level pages when I joined, a complete jumble of words with a broken template. I redesigned the template, got an idea for the basics, and worked with things from there. I got suggestions on how to expand, such as Quick Level Completion, but even that was me who executed it. Secrets and the entire template for that was fully me. I have done every vanilla walkthrough, Q2, Dark Hour, Aftershock (with some basic pages and images made by you), and the Aftershock Toolbox. I was the one who expanded with mod support; I think back in the Toxic era such things would have been turned down. I came up with the idea for the basic formatting, the categories, and documented over 200. The look of the Wikia has a lot to do with me messing with the CSS or some theme or another. The main page has plenty of my contributions, even the Quake font was something I found and designed the original images for. Player skins, every level editor, Quake 1 just has been my massive focus and ambition. I am the one who created the modern infoboxes, was the one to get sounds going with Rottweiler, and the one writing the news up for all of this. In a way, I guess you could say I loved having my hand everywhere, in having this thing I crafted and worked on. With the last so many years, it has gotten to the point where I was essentially the one pushing forward with Quake content. I was the excavator and finder. Losing that, having it now be used, is definitely a bit depressive. It is good in the sense that it is nice to have others using all those standards, but also just feels like you are losing some ability yourself. It is a Wikia and I entirely understand it being something others should have a hand in; I can't exactly yell at people not to edit nor would that be for the best as who knows how much I can practically do, yet you do feel a great sense of jealousy. And it stings with each new page.

Nods, that is one reason I really enjoyed the Youtube direction, since I could write up things there without worrying about anyone altering them. The problem is just a general lack of control there with Youtube not allowing the best in organizational means, it is good for some playlists, but not for that urge to make some bigger project. As for being drained, that sums up most of my week days, since I am stuck in an area with people constantly talking. I can't really handle the presence of others, yet am always put around them.

I guess you are right there, I like making things as accurate and correct as I can. I feel it a personal failing if I make a mistake on something, even though I know it is bound to happen. I have found random names that I had wrong or directions or various other typos, when you do so much it is very easy just to have a minor mistake. There is always a fear of "how much have I missed". How many mods could actually be made to work if I was better at it? How many things actually had more to them that I just glanced past accidentally? I try to tear apart, but being human means flaws, and that is always a hard thing to come to terms with. But you are right; we even got the guy from Quaddicted coming here and praising how meticulous it all was. I don't like glancing over things; I want it as covered as I can do it. In a way, this is something I have often told myself whenever I saw someone else doing something in the past, they likely didn't do it as detailed as I would, so I can fill in more details when I get to it.

It is a constant internal battle for sure. As said, I can't be upset at someone for doing what someone should reasonably be able to do. I can't tell Minion "hey, can you just stop editing". Such would be unfair to him and unfair to the Wikia as a whole. While it upsets me to see edits, seeing him stop editing would also be upsetting since that would mean a dying community and general lack of enthusiasm. This means it isn't so much something I hide that I really want as much as something which I just am distressed by seeing, even though I know I shouldn't be and it is nonsensical in truth to be.

White lies are definitely a bothersome thing for me, hearing him blatantly do something like that went against a lot of my personal values. I think you might know, but honesty is one of my biggest things, and one thing that highly bugs me if another is lacking in. It is what can easily send me into a spiral of hurt. Seeing that destroyed me all the more, even though I also understand it is normal for others, and people who don't really know my personal values can't know how to react in such an instance. That is what a lot of that boiled down to, not knowing me and knowing that being normal is extremely detrimental.

You are also right, people would be a lot more able to empathize if they knew how I felt. If they knew how much of a hell a basic thing like playing a video game can become. And I appreciate your words there, because they are very true. They help a lot to know what goes on with my OCD. To know I am the sort of person who can torture myself reading multiple novels for a minor mod someone made that was mentioned in the readme of a Quake level. You got to see the struggle during the earlier half of this decade, whereby I had trouble being here at points due to falling back into worse OCD which meant I had to work my way just to have the right to be here.

As much as that sounds like a promising idea, the bigger issue is just that we don't have much room to work with. Even if I get rid of every other mod and just make a generator, I think we are looking at a couple enemies more at best. Believe it or not, most other mods outside of the spectator mode did not take many lines at all. So this isn't as much an issue of segmenting things as much as we just can't really create as big a thing as hoped for. Just adding one custom enemy takes a lot of space. I feel like everything else had a rather light footprint, it was the custom enemies that really did the mod in for space. Well, that and the randomizer. I wish there was some easier way to do the randomizer; that could cut down on a lot of code actually. Currently I have to define an entity, then give a chance for it to be another entity. The problem with this, simply put, is that I have to do this for each vanilla entity. This means we get a lot of repetitive code that would be a lot simpler if just listed once. But outside of modifying each level to have one entity, I am unsure how to define anything under the "monster" classname to randomize out. Tearing out a few features, I might get one extra enemy. But is it worth a bunch of features? Perhaps this is why you don't really see Quake mods doing this sort of thing. GZDoom, sure, but there just is no large scale randomizer for stuff for Quake. Even if there was, it would be something that would have to be running on DarkPlaces or something. I guess each game has their own limits, I just didn't think Quake had these sort of issues. And the bigger problem is just that there is no easy solution for all of this.

One thing I think I can trash in hindsight is the idea of players having their own skins. Not only did this require a lot of code, but it doesn't serve much of a purpose in Cooperative. Players can't see the skins they chose, since we only have 1-2 players at a time identification is never an issue, and it is at the same time one of the most demanding areas. Any time it is updated, that means we would need to update our skins. It is a little fancy "nice to have", but it also serves no purpose in gameplay, and is something most people are going to set and forget. I don't think it deterred anyone to just use a Ranger skin. Not only is it one of the most blatant things to remove that would grant a little space, but it even had that error message when changing to a Ring of Shadows. In fact, it was the last real bug of the modification, while at the same time trying to support something I am not sure anyone cared about. Everything else served some gameplay mechanic, but custom skins? I just find little reason to justify its existence. Removing it gets rid of needing to look at a blog for updates on skins, the potential to update any time someone else choose a new skin, the amount of code, a bunch of additional code every user must add to their autoexec... would it be missed or am I right that it just is a pointless thing in Coop? Maybe in Deathmatch with 16 players it makes sense, but not really here.

This is indeed a sort of special place, a place that has lasted for quite a while and has quite the history, a place where we have bonded and can be very open. Another thing I am glad to have been part of, since I remember the days before my administratorship when you were expected to work nonstop. In fact, that is what was told to me when I became an administrator, that I would expected to do so much effort. I think this is why the old guard felt uncomfortable being around when they didn't that that drive to edit anymore. It is a very unique place, where you can write long paragraphs in a comforting spot. Social networks have constantly burying feeds, instant messaging like Discord just means you are bound to be overwhelmed, while here you can just write things out. And yes, virtual worlds aren't really the same, since they are games where you can't convey yourself without putting others down. In fact, that summarizes a lot of places, you can't really openly talk without being some attention seeker or burden upon everyone else. Here, it just is people chatting and discussing what is on their mind, no hostilities or judgements given. You are also right, we don't forget people here, no matter how long they are gone. Raadec left his own legacy here, as did Toxic and August, as did Rottweiler and Dominus, as did Masao and Alakasam. Many have managed to find a name for themselves here, names that we still recall to this day.

And the same must be said for you, you are a big reason why this place never lost its charm. I don't think I could be motivated to just edit for an empty Wikia, it would go the way all the other ones I tried went. No, the reason I had motivation to continue was always because I had you sending messages, even if they were about cheap sausages. We have essentially managed to keep a conversation going for years, never going stale and always trying to do what we could. This Wiki is a lot more than just the editing portion, in truth. Even if I was to stop Quake and people like Minion stopped, the Wikia itself would live on as a place to chat alone. Because at this point, this has a whole life of its own, a place of comfort where we ramble about whatever.

You are right there, your words definitely give me some motivation, and I was definitely pushing forward with a few more bits of content today. I just wish I could find that happiness I so desperately look for. Quake was bringing a lot of hope, but knowing it is so limited definitely brings down a lot of it.

I should mention that the original design I had for the next enemy would have been for the Ghost from Outskirts to the Nuclear Reactor, mainly since I had a good idea how to make it unique and worthwhile enough to be included. I planned to make it immune to all attacks except Cells, a sort of Ghostbusters based mentality. The problem however is that the texture is a lot worse than I remembered, loading it up I can see that it is not worth including in the game. The regular is bad enough, but the head gib in particular is quite atrocious. It just looks very pixelated and grainy, even by 1996 standards.

In fact, relooking over things, I am not sure we have a drastic number of custom opponents even if using custom skins. Going by This list, I have tackled most of them. If the monster doesn't have a proper gibbed head, it can't really be considered worthy of inclusion. I don't like the idea of the Grunts using player based skins, so all those are out. The Scrag has Mr. Wiznut, but that feels like a joke skin out of place, we have enough with our Shrek. The Anomaly is interesting, but doesn't work in GLQuake due to MDL differences. We already got the "Fire Demon" included in the game as the Blazing Fiend. This leaves us with two opponents to really consider.

I have also begun work on the Yeti, which I could add by removing the skins feature. I see it as being a potentially weaker form of Shambler. Cannot do the lightning attack, perhaps needs to rely entirely on melee. So pretty much a tanky waste of ammo for a melee opponent. It will be a rare opponent (I made rare opponents rarer now), sort of the opposite effect of the Blazing Fiend. One of relief instead of getting your average Shambler. Of course, like the Blazing Fiend, it also is quicker than your average opponent. I didn't make the Yeti as insane, it still can be seen when it moved, but it is pretty rapid and able to keep up with a fast moving player. I tried messing around with Shambler sounds, but I couldn't get anything to sound right that way. I decided to mess around with my own voice and I think the result came out much nicer, especially the death sound, which I absolutely love. So yeah, Yeti is now officially included.

The regular Ogre can likely come back, but we need some special property for Shrek. I am not sure personally what this could be. What is Shrek enough to be worthy of inclusion?