Thread:Vorknkx/@comment-3547390-20170901233307/@comment-3547390-20170909230620

Indeed, I could say the same here, I don't have any friends I have known longer than both of you. Fascinating that we have gone almost an entire decade knowing one another.

I am glad to be posting videos again and them not be horrible Doom/Star Wars Droids videos. Even the worst Quake level is still better than the best Doom level since I enjoy the base game more. It makes me happy to be alive at the time I am, I couldn't stand having to deal with Doom shovelware and terrible NES games. I am a weird "retro" gamer because I cannot stand the NES, which is pretty much hallmarked as the best console of all time and is generally what retro gamers love to play.

I am very bad socially. The people I work with often will try to talk to me and I will try to be friendly, but the problem is when they make a joke I have no idea what they are saying, so they end up getting mad because I just stare at them. I have had fears they are out to steal my food, especially since they love to say how it smells good. I try to minimize contact with the outside world. I do martial arts twice a week where for half an hour the teacher will yell at me how I should know this stuff. I had to be taken out of public classes as I kept falling into people or would just be forgotten about, so now I do privates where the teacher mostly just focuses on his kids and has me do some drill that he sometimes yells at me for. On the internet I have tried socializing with people, but with most I end up getting into some argument and they give up on me, or they just disappear and never respond to me. You guys are the rare ones to stick around.

In life I am the type that likes to naturally be loud and vocal, I just am not good with others, meaning I often end up just being loud and vocal by myself doing things like banging tables or playing with various objects. I do have control over it, I can be quiet for work, and am pretty quiet generally due to being on the computer. But I just enjoy having fun and making noise. That alone terrifies most people, I come on very strong if I am enthusiastic about talking to someone, and if not there is no real reason I want to be around them.

The biggest problem is that I have bouts of loneliness, it is nice to talk here, but the several hour or even day wait for replies means it can get quiet. I need people but I can't stand most people because they will smell my food or start talking in text speak. I am not one who can handle those that talk in such a manner as "y tho, lol. I luv ya nibbas, let's get cronked." That type of manner alienates me, I just am entirely unable to comprehend how I react or work with such people. I find many will talk like that or deviate to that based on the situation, which makes me feel alone when it occurs. I also lack empathy, meaning when they start telling me their grandparents died and they stubbed their toe I feel potentially bad that my friend is upset, but I have zero idea how to react. People tell me these things and it just doesn't make sense what they expect me to do with it. Plus the things I say can get very harsh and insulting without me even realizing it, I never intend to hurt but manage to hurt a lot.

Indeed, it is quite fascinating that us three from various parts of the world have found a method of communication in a game where the character's only quote is "huh huh". I like Thief and cannot stand Vorknkx's favorite titles, I still cannot understand how you both like Hexen, but at the end of the day we have enough of a connection here to be able to ramble with one another.