Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20171111143841/@comment-3547390-20180207204129

I see, I misinterpreted your intentions. I see now it was about encouraging to handle things the best I could, when I took it as insisting I do things regardless of my fighting against it. I think I have been gaining a lot more control recently, I have been working to try to finally overcome my OCD, and I think I am able to do such. It just becomes important to stop doing these hellhole DOS titles. This OCD has been torture, I would be naive to think it fully gone, but I think through effort I have managed enough to be far less extreme than I was. I am glad to hear you encouraging it, I know it stinks to end the series like this, but I just can't find the motivation. Completing this level will just lead to level after level of sheer repetition where I have to deal with these issues. It isn't like it will be over in the next 4-5 parts, we are talking about another 20-30 parts at least of videos.

My tenacity only goes so far. I eventually hit an abyss where it suddenly becomes a lot worse. That 1 mile walk suddenly becomes 100 miles. And I never really make it home as I just go on other routes that never really go anywhere. I feel quite lacking in it myself because of this, all my effort never really pays off.

Nods, fair enough indeed. I did not know I was one of the only ones you can talk freely to, especially as this place isn't exactly private. I appreciate you not trying to harm me and I am sorry for getting defensive, I have been getting overburdened and interpreted your words to be the strongest opponent against me getting free from my OCD. I have been arguing with everyone lately, everyone is throwing their opinion in, and so I started feeling like I was being pulled apart by those who wanted me to continue in order to achieve some personal strength versus those who felt it achieved nothing and I needed to do what I wanted.

Understandable. I wouldn't exactly say I am helpful myself. I am possibly the worst to come to with problems, as I have zero idea how to solve them. This is part of the reason I feel so useless. My father asks me a question about computers, my "forte", and I have zero idea how to fix it. It feels degrading when the one thing I am said to be capable in falters in reliability. So I feel pointless, aimless, and worthless. My only achievements are what I do with my OCD, yet even that is worthless in the end, and all I am doing is inducing torture on myself.