Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20180827202615/@comment-1496755-20191112214031

It's easier for people to label something as a "disorder" instead of going through the major hassle of understanding and accepting it. That's why I try to turn this into an advantage and make the most out of it, though there are really very few opportunities where crazy is something to boast about. The most typical symptom of schizophrenia is hearing voices. If you don't hear any, you are probably safe... no, hearing voices while listening to music doesn't count, that's the vocals :P

Hmmm, I don't remember a hedgehog, but I remember a lot of weird crossovers going in all possible directions. People's idea of Quake 5 was some horrible hodgepodge of stuff from other games mixed together like an unholy brew.

Yes, I can confirm how obsessive achievements can become. I've had experience with them on the Diablo and Wolfenstein Wiki, and they definitely had one negative effect - they'd make you do something not because the Wiki needs it, but rather because it awards an achievement. And thus less useful things can get done.

One of my big contributions herei s the screenshots. And, to be honest, I felt slightly jealous when Emerald Wolf made the shots for Quake 3... but he did a pretty good job, so I managed to overcome these feelings after a while. I had to admit to myself that I probably woundn't have done it much better than him. Outside of Quake 1 there is still a lot of work to do and I will definitely get there some day (there's a good number of pages that might require complete rewriting too). It feels a little intimidating when I'm doing it alone, but the quiet nature of the Wiki has its advantages too. Thinking about all this gives me an idea about Mr. Minion - you could talk to him about how other areas of the WIki need work too. If he is a fan of the other Quake games, there is plenty of stuff he could dabble in... The coverage for the official Q2/Q3/Q4/QW games themselves still needs work, and mods haven't even been touched upon. It's a huge playground.

I've met people who can empathize, though it's still far from truly being in someone else's shoes. I can describe a lot of my experiences, but it will still be just a description and not the actual experience. We've had such situations during the various streams we did together, when, on several occasions, you were traumatized by something that seemed absolutely trivial to me. It was a valuable lesson on how the point of view can drastically change the severity of a problem. I found myself repeating the same mistake that many people do when confronted with someone suffering from depression - the "come on, it isn't that bad, pull yourself together" mentality. I believe I have learned to avoid this nowadays, and this can only be a good thing. Ironically (maybe?), I have found myself on the receiving end of this process in the past, with people belittling my fears and other quirks, dismissing them as mere whims. The best example is probably the whole wearing of glasses thing, which most people see as just a small detail, but to me always was a pretty big and painful topic due to all the self-confidence issues it caused, and it got particularly bad when the recurring fears of going blind started (there was a period when my sight was getting worse all the time, and I really had such obsessive thoughts, usually during the night when I was alone, struggling to fall asleep). Fear was the predominant emotion of my childhood (and some periods later on). In this regard it is comparable to your OCD - it's always there, it's usually kept under control, but if it slips out, it can really mess me up.

I could swallow the pccasional white lie, but what really gets me is people talking behind my back. Some of my coworkers have done that in the past, and I know this for a fact. The university is fertile ground for gossip since most people have worked there for a fairly long time and have gotten to know each other pretty well (including much of the "dirty laundry" kind of stuff). This is why I rarely talk about personal stuff with anyone there - to limit the gossip. But I can't really stop it altogether.

I hope you can figure something out soon because the week after the next one is a very likely candidate for me being available. We will have some important visitors from the ministry of education this week and the next one... but the coast should be clear after that. I will confirm this as soon as know it's certain.

It's amazing how the real-world distance between us fades and disappears when we are here. One of the big differences in my previous special place was the ability to actually meet theo others. Those meetings were really epic and enjoyable, even to an introvert like me. This is all in the past now, but I will always keep the memories. Who knows, maybe some day I might have a chance to meet someone from the Wiki in person. Could be you or Dominus, who shows an interest in Slavic culture and languages. He could disguise his trip as a holy misson to convert the local pagans :P

I have always found this very strange - the expectation for admins to work all the time. Sounds very stressful, like a race to get achievements. It even reminds me of my previous job, where the boss was so determined to utlize every single minute that he had us do all kinds of meaningless tasks, just to prevent us from being idle. I'm glad we don't have such a policy.

Whatever happens, I will always be around and do my best to help you and our shared online home. I've had very few true friends in life, and most of them barely keep in touch anymore... even the guy that I spent my entire childhood with, we practically grew up together. I have imagined the future in all sorts of ways, but never exactly like this.

Shrek should definitely have a special property. But what could it be? I'll think about it, maybe something will pop up in my mind.

P.S. Yikes, this horrendous Yeti reminds me of something - I had a surprisingly high number of vivid dreams over the last week. One of them had a scary scene with some old guy with no arms. And yet he was very dangerous - he could somehow wrap his torso around people and crush them, similar to a constrictor snake. I know I woke up with my heart racing like crazy after encountering him in my dream.