Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20171111143841/@comment-3547390-20180529124834

Precisely. It is much more tolerable and relaxing of an atmosphere, though we are still in a period of setting things up which makes things a bit more complicated than they should be later. There are plans in the work for a "remote signal light" of some sort so that people can tell me they need me without needing to interrupt the recording session. Combined with the fact that people here say I am highly quiet, even when recording or playing guitar, means that it is a much more freeing atmosphere. I do need to calm things down by a certain time of night, but I get quite a nice bit of time before it, meaning I can always squeeze out something.

That definitely sounds bothersome. I hold a massive paranoia for ticks, one reason I really don't like going outside in general. What is the point of going places when it may just result in my punishment via ticks?

That is the part nobody seems to get. Uniqueness is not ideal, it is not something to really crave over, especially not if you are more social. You want companionship, you want meaning and for someone to be there, and yet this "uniqueness" ends up distancing you from everyone. It doesn't help that I am more unique than most other individuals to a level that most can't take me seriously. I feel a major lack of respect as others mock various things I say, finding that I must be either a troll or just making some stuff up. It is very rare when I find someone who tends to believe me when I tell them things about myself; this is why my closest friends are very valuable. They are the only ones that won't laugh because I say something, the only ones who would see me as more than the thing I said. It is very devaluing when you talk about something, then get shunned in the future due to it. "You have no right to an opinion, you do X" or even bringing up things in jest when it is obvious they are mocking me because they find it so humorous. When I am such an incompetent being that I can't even succeed at the basics of humanity, it isn't hard to find something to mock me for, and it probably doesn't help that I am very open regardless of all my past hurts.

Oh, I knew the other kids that were ostracized by the majority in school. I was oddly "popular", by that I mean more that everyone knew me as the person to laugh at but nobody really offered respect. When I first came to the school, it was odd, everyone wished to get to know me. That always tends to be the case actually, I have a tendency to draw people to me in real life. The problem is that I always get people to turn hateful to me; it makes that popularity a double-edged sword, since now I suddenly become the number-one enemy because everyone knew me. The other kids were all introverted, they liked to sit in their own little group and were quiet. They hated me the same as everyone else, meaning they would move from their table if I claimed it and didn't wish to be associated with me.

That is the thing about me. Normal people have other people. Outcasts band together. Other middle-grounders blend into the environment. Then there is me, the alien who really doesn't belong anywhere and always feels alone.

Heh, I was pretty vocal about my interests, mainly as I was a strong advocate against violent stuff having any connection to real life. One thing I highly disagree with my father about, he is entirely about not needing to see violence to enjoy something. I don't believe in the censorship of anything, no matter how offensive. If it is fiction, it shouldn't matter.

I don't even see my particular interests as being that extreme; my favorite games are those that are entirely against the use of violence. My music, while harder than say someone who listens to classic rock, is relatively tame. I don't really like all the "brutal death metal" where there are lyric videos of the words shaking angrily at the screen in some ruined house. I just find all that to be so... vapid... and lacking in any real emotion. It feels like toughness just to pretend you are. I much prefer things oriented highly on melody, where the focus is on the emotional intensity. It isn't guys growling that gives intensity.