Thread:Vorknkx/@comment-3547390-20170901233307/@comment-3547390-20171111070207

Very true. I can rant and ramble about Quake quite a bit, have torn that game apart and sideways to add info here.

Oh goodie, glad you will be left alone for a bit at least.

I think understanding what I even like in music would help me. I have plenty of albums that I just don't like for whatever reason, yet can't even pinpoint a particular reason that sounds air proof to me. I can even admit it has a good sound. Yet for some reason something about it is off. My music tastes are usually dependent on what I am listening to. Usually a song I have just started hearing is better than something I have listened to for a decade. Eventually they settle off at some level, the best stuff still shining enough if not as bright as when I first heard it. One reason I tend to seek for new things, I have a great interest in the unknown. Combine that with a lack of memory for what I don't hear a lot, I end up relistening to albums I hate just to remember why I hated them.

So glad you have experience with this, I definitely am happy to have you able to explain how to set this up properly. Is it anything like CDs to mount a floppy? I know to add -t cdrom to any mounted drive.

My OCD is a mess indeed and is very inconsistent, so you are quite right that I have had better and worse times. My OCD didn't exist back when I was really young, I was able to play Thief 2 and Star Wars games without even caring. It wasn't until Doom 3 that I started changing, I originally played to Delta Labs on a cheap computer that could barely handle it and thus had audio stutters and severe lag on the lowest setting. Upgrading so I could play it on the lowest setting without these issues, I stopped and restarted with the intent to continue where I stopped. But instead I just kept looping over and over, fearing to see something new that disappointed me and thus sticking to what was familiar. It became known as the "Doom 3 curse", where I could only make it so far in a game before fearing what was ahead would ruin what I saw and thus I wouldn't beat games.

Note with the Doom 3 curse that it wasn't at all like it is today. I was still playing KOTOR and Thief 2. I did get a bit sequel conscious, realizing my mistake and thus refusing to play Thief 2 until I beat Thief Gold, which of course was stuck in the limbo of the Doom 3 curse. But I could see Star Wars and Harry Potter. The Doom 3 curse just meant I could never finish anything. I eventually went back to Doom 3 and beat the game, which in turn broke the curse as I suddenly could beat games again. Maybe it also didn't help that from 2004 onwards to the late 2000s I could only get games for my PS2, my mother used to pirate games on the PC and so when she switched to Limewire which lacked the ability to get proper software I was mostly just playing what I already had. Doom 3 was special as it was one of the rare games I bought.

What really sent me onto this whole chronological issue was my cats. I used to live in a house with 16 of them or so. They would tend to be around me and at some point I started realizing that they would have no idea what I was doing and would probably appreciate it to have it explained to them. But I felt just jumping to the most modern things would confuse animals that didn't know the history of fiction, so I started chaining together influences and any other connections I could to make lesson plans for them. No longer could I see any Star Wars but A New Hope (of course this varied, at one point I started from Phantom Menace and another I started from reading Wookiepedia articles on Tales of the Jedi). No longer could I read any Harry Potter after the first book. For even if one cat got it done, another would be behind, and I would have to systematically hunt down the cats and know where each one was located place-wise.

As the above essentially meant grabbing them and trapping them in a room to listen to me ramble about fantasy works, the cats got terrified of me and so distanced themselves from me. Eventually I was left alone, but my mind felt that I didn't have to abandon the lesson plans, and that it could be beneficial to appreciate all that which leads up to the current day. I was reminded of Rune and Unreal, two games on the same engine, and how I appreciated the menu for Rune because it was the same from Unreal. I realized seeing the evolution of engines was highly important. Then I realized it would make more sense to not be left out of a reference and be unknowing as to what was going on, so I started doing influences.

This was around 2010 or so. My earliest Youtube videos show me in this state, playing Atari games not just for fun, but because that was all I could play after working my way through the 70s and a lot of influences like Mork and Mindy and Happy Days. That time was really miserable, knowing that absolutely anything you could enjoy would still be 2 decades away.

At some point I realized how foolish the idea was and so I started looking for the oldest FPS I would like. A bit of Doom and Wolf 3d and I started realizing I had an issue with sprite based games, so I moved on to the first 3d game I saw, Unreal. Of course, I was wrong and realized my mistake after I beat the game, meaning I had to jump back to Quake which I had assumed was sprite based at first in a way like Terminator: Future Shock or something.

I played Quake and jumped to mods, which weren't chronologically limited, but quickly realized I should detail this stuff like I did Unreal, and thus when I joined Quakewikia. After that I took the role of doing things chronologically seriously to maintain a sense of order and organization, so I could try to systematically make sure I didn't miss anything.

So I did Quake for a bit, covering the base game, but started feeling miserable about accepting pleasure over working for it. So I started trying to cover influences more, which eventually led me to doing Doom PWADs and other fun things like reading most of Lovecraft's works before hitting another author I would have to read the works of.

I think DnD was a turning point for me. When I realized just how overwhelming DnD was, and how far into the hole I got only to get hindered by a full game's page worth of stuff, I started realizing the system was flawed and I was never going to get anywhere. So I instead decided to not follow influences of influences, just the first influence. This eventually evolved from just the first game to the first game I like, so thus why Doom PWADs with random references don't lead me on goose chases.

With DnD making me miserable for an entire year, I realized how bad my OCD was and knew I had to stop, which is why in 2014 I ended up becoming more pleasure oriented than I had in the last 4 years. Plus it didn't help that Raadec kept talking about wanting to play Thief again. So thus why I started playing Thief after getting back into Quake. That worked for a while and getting accidentally spoiled to Minecraft meant that I even opened up that way. I rationalized out MMOs and started having more stuff to do that I did during the DnD hell era.

With Heretic, I started feeling bad about how I never made much progress on Doom PWADs and instead jumped to another game on the same engine. One thing I had held onto was engines. Those MMOs were specifically not made for any particular engine, Minecraft was isolated, and Thief/Unreal were the first or only on their engine. So Heretic essentially hit me where the others didn't and made me resort to trying to fix it with Doom PWADs.

Of course, that didn't really work out as I also was getting into streaming and thus became motivated to play Thief again. This was mostly due to Dominus, I had that Aftershock influence to read the Wheel of Time for, which after suffering through eight books he convinced me was not worth the pain. So I went back to doing what I wished to do and have fun with Thief. That went well until I realized I could use the stream to play games I normally wouldn't play and get past them to better things. I had at one time "cheated" my system to get to Morrowind and so I wished to correct it. I also wanted to fix the Heretic cheat and get through Doom PWADs until Heretic came out.

I continued on with Arena and did Daggerfall with the intent of making my way to Morrowind properly. Instead I was getting stuck in the game, getting miserable, and so fell into a spiral of depression. Eventually Dominus talked to me, telling me I couldn't be doing this to myself again, and so I rationalized that I needed to focus on my happiness. So once again I did Thief.

Of course, this one was a lot shorter as I planned towards the future and realized there was a TC in 1999 I wanted to check out for Unreal Tournament, which meant playing Unreal again. That went well until I remembered Unreal had levels inspired from Quake mods. So I made it my goal to try to do all three, but at a slow enough speed to catch each up and see what I needed to see. So just last year I was again living for pleasure, perhaps with more of a mindset than ever.

So this is where I decided to go back and complete Daggerfall, which I did with the hope of getting to Battlespire. I was going to take a brief break, then get back. Then I realized it was in 1997 and I would like to check out the other games, so I decided to work my way chronologically from the period I liked.

Then of course I was convinced to do Hexen since it was needed to continue that Quake level and I had done the required reading for Wheel of Time. So I did Hexen while slowing up Quake, plus I started Doom due to feeling terrible because I was cheating on the Doom engine again. At some point Quake completely stopped to focus on Hexen and Doom, but I was getting more and more miserable as I wanted to devote time not to playing Hexen but to continuing Doom PWADs.

Eventually I continue Doom fine until I reach a PWAD adding a tree from Rogue Squadron. I realize that I will need to cover Star Wars anyway if I follow my chronological order to work to 1997 since Jedi Knight. So I start doing Star Wars stuff with the hope of making it to Rogue Squadron at the least, possibly stopping in 1994 if not tired. I have tried restarting Quake since I am sort of getting lost from my goal of pleasure, but I feel like I should be able to tolerate Doom at the very least.

Mainly now the system is to only do influences for things I like and only for things that have purpose to checking out. Doom for example has maps used in Quake levels. On the other hand, Lovecraft is a mess and Shub-Niggurath is barely if at all ever mentioned beyond her name. Of course, at the same time I am trying to avoid influences all-together unless they are blatant. A reference to "Tool time"? Not enough. A level designed after another game? Worth playing the original to understand.

Thus where I am now. If you can make sense of it or how to stop it, that would be great. I just don't know what I would do, what direction I would go. I still don't know if I would be ruining things for myself if I did it out of order. I have had bouts where I will do something more recent, but it is almost a matter of just not knowing what I would even do if left on my own. I don't want inconvenient spoilers due to not seeing previous game lore or not appreciating an engine. So now it is just dealing with Quake stuff.

The Metallum is great, especially if you have OCD and need to listen to every song. They cover every album in chronological order and show the songs on it, making them easy to compare and find out what are new. Plus you get reviews giving you a hint of what is to come. The main thing I need is to make sure what influences it has, which I base entirely off Wikipedia. I have since worked myself back to only if they made a song for a game soundtrack, so Mudvayne is accessible but Lacuna Coil isn't.

I was wondering why it was taking me hours to type this out. Wow... I typed a lot. Somehow I doubt you will read all of this.