Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20180827202615/@comment-3547390-20190418231955

Yes, there isn't much you can do to control your thoughts from what I am aware. Much of what I have heard is that thoughts and actions are separate, but this also means you end up thinking things totally irrelevant to what you are doing most of the time. Glad you will be getting a bit of a break soon. Tomorrow will be a bit of a juggling act for me, we have instituted a new design that has some frustrating limitations. I also have the database which has gone live.

Yes, I am surprisingly confusing to other people, which makes even less sense to me. Am I that difficult to decipher? Poetry tends to be very... metaphorical and illustrative sadly, often I find people get even more confused when I try to show them that. The problem of an art form that can be interpreted in many ways. I am easily confusing to others somehow.

Sounds a bit pressuring indeed. My job is usually pretty lax, I usually have enough slow points that I can catch up, plus people are pretty understanding thankfully. As it is even joked about, I use my spare time to design a database that the company now is relying on. Pretty scary on the one hand, since with great power comes great responsibility, but luckily everyone seems quite happy.

Yes, I am a very weird individual, as my particular tastes were developed in connection with my OCD, so I find porn movies and whatnot entirely uninteresting. In fact, I tend to mostly have odd fetishes, like things like rape. This is because consensual sex is predictable, it isn't much fun to know what is going to happen and have such a scripted game, so the more fun games and therefore tastes are the ones where you are a female avoiding rape. Makes me upset because society is pretty against rape and thus places like Patreon have recently buckled down on it, making it harder to come by in indie circles (and forget mainstream). If I could get a nude patch for Tomb Raider, I probably would just as it would give me more incentive to play, in a weird reliance sort of way while not really being about sexual pleasure in any normal way. When I say sex addict, I don't really mean I want to have sex with people or find consensual sex interesting. No, I mean I get distressed if I don't touch some source of entertainment with rape on a relatively occasional basis, as my OCD has made that equal happiness.

OCD is a really weird disease to look at, truthfully. Apparently thinking about all the methods in which you can murder someone is OCD related. Meanwhile the psychologist loves to dismiss anything about OCD, instead saying that I am just trying to distract from the deeper issue. The deeper issue being that I am trying to manipulate the psychologist to escape telling him my real feelings.

Quite curious indeed, but I guess that makes sense. You end up stressing yourself out with your self-imposed challenge to make the game as gory as you could. The irony with me is that is sort of how I got to play Skyrim. Morrowind lacked much in the way of scripting, so I could get naked, but it was by my own free will and got highly bothersome to not see a town rape someone that is confined to an area. Oblivion probably would work right if it wasn't for the hundreds of mods I have added, which have a side effect of draining stamina, and thus end up breaking my game. Main reason I don't give up on Skyrim is because it has a relatively decent system, even if it ends up frustrating you due to the animations tending to occur when you change zones (which leads to you being teleported to a grey area and needing to reload). Main thing that inspired me to touch The Sims was the hope of working my way to the later games, which might have more unpredictable interactions including sex...though I am skeptical if I would enjoy it, since it seems like something you watch instead of control, which is pretty much what I need. I tried playing some multiplayer titles... don't do that, people are atrocious at roleplaying and it wastes a lot of time. Yeah, I pretty much have been on a quest to find the perfect game to just institute the design I want, mainly because adult games are pretty terrible.

Most adult games I would look for are Japanese. Note Japanese means censorship however, which sort of kills the point in my eyes. RPG Maker is a great system for adult games, except that while a lot of games feature clothing getting destroyed by enemies, they tend to love restoring the clothing after every battle, which sort of drives me up a wall. Then there are American games... they tend to be pretty linear and thus almost more like a story book than a game (fetch rope, then watch lesbian sex). Actually, that is a bit of a thing that bothers me, rape means the objective is to avoid rape, ergo sex must be viewed with a puritan mindset. This means I get highly bothered with games that has a healthy sexual relationship. They get some consensual scenes, it kills the game entirely for me. There was a game called The Last Barbarian, pretty promising even if the models weren't the best, but it was butchered by Patreon so that now instead of being a rogue-like with rape it is "have sex to continue without consequence". There are some dialog games out there, Trap Quest is my go-to example of a quality roguelike with everything set to as brutal and difficult as you can get, even if it is as degenerate as you get there. Main gripe with Trap Quest is that text just gets frustrating after a bit, I hate reading and so having a game revolve around that isn't the best, since I need sound to block out the world around me. There is the ever famous Violated Heroine, but that game has debug stuff right in town that allows you to bypass everything, thereby negating any sense of challenge.

One of the best I know is a random game known as Naked Adventure. Based off a Japanese game with censorship that had a fun premise, basically it is a simple game where you run around naked. If you are caught, you are raped. Stealth rape games are probably my favorite genre, it combines this sex addiction with my love for stealth. Only real problem there is that the game is a bit too easy (slightly better if you run instead of crouching, but still not the best), plus very incomplete as most adult games are. One thing to learn about adult games is that most are abandoned, so it is sort of a big deal when one gets completed.

Ideally, the game I would want would be Daggerfall, with sex. Unpredictable instabilities, but also with rape being something to avoid, means that ironically my hell could be my greatest game with a few simple tweaks. It is the simple difference of mindset. If the goal becomes "escape being raped", suddenly each attack isn't forcing a reload, and it also becomes a lot more focused on the issue at hand as opposed to finding your way out. So yes, I would absolutely love Daggerfall if it had a sex mod, and the absence of this is probably the sole reason to be bothered by the game. This is how detrimental being a sex addict can be. See, porn games are made to be played with one hand for obvious reasons. The problem is I am insane and want an adult game with challenge as I use two hands. So yeah, I am living in a world where I am asking for something that doesn't exist because I am essentially insane and have a mind requiring oddly specific things.

Also note, this pretty much means I am dying alone. To fulfill anything in real life, I would somehow need to acquire a dungeon maze and fill it with monsters, then have people scour it for a piece of paper for them that tells them to cross the country to enter my other dungeon maze to find me, where I can yell about domestic intrusion and have a bunch of officers yelling "halt" charge in. That is more interesting to me than any normal relationship, I see no real point in them unless I get a couple dungeons, which of course are costly ventures I wouldn't want to invest much into unless I had people wanting to enter them. A sort of catch 22. Plus people sort of frown on rape, even if the beings are malformed entities that I had to somehow get out of an asylum, and I am not really sure how such an illegal venture would also involve an army of cops just standing by to chase someone on the opposite side of the country.

I have heard about that offense, but haven't listened to the song. I tend to like to listen to an entire album in one sitting, so I am waiting until it comes out before I bother. The new band I am into is Vampira. Still have yet to listen to more than their first album though, I just need another relaxing gap.

I don't know if it will or will not, I think the plot is more understandable... from what I saw, which wasn't much admittedly. One day I need to actually sit down and play it... even if my need to explore every town fully and remove fog of war makes it pretty miserable to explore a certain large town.

Oh yes, I have noticed you doing that on my stream, I guess that is why it occurred like that. Only language I have touched would be Japanese to play some localized games. Yet to find one worth it yet sadly.