Thread:Deathstalker666/@comment-1496755-20180827202615/@comment-3547390-20191201011127

I cannot under good faith continue editing stuff for the Wikia. After talking to Minion, numerous things have come to light which requires me to take some steps back and properly do some corrective actions for myself. My presence here is unwelcoming to other users, I am too cold and incompetent when it comes to communication with others, when I am expected to be able to provide conversation and make others feel welcome. This has become a major issue with Serafettin3, who is constantly pushed away with my inane statements. He is trying to extend his hand and communicate, yet due to my failings I am causing harm to him and anyone else who might try to join the Wikia. You are likely the only person I have not caused harm, unless you just have ignored or even internalized it.

When I started the server, I had a certain vision and hope for the design, to make a challenging based situation which we could be required to work together. It seemed like I was working to it, but it appears I was actually subtly destroying my own work on the server to the point where it is now a hollow shell of all it was. It's all dead and pointless now. There will be no more updates to the server, all I could do is further ruin what originally held potential even if it wasn't exactly enjoyable back then either. I should not have played the role of a Quake modder, doing such was just offending people who can really edit the code.

I have been touching too much Quake stuff, making others unwelcome with how much I am touching. I need to back away and let others enjoy the content. I also need to stop playing Quake in general and do other things, because the thoughts I am currently having are just too conflicting with the rest of the Wikia community. I am not sure what other things I can do, likely little, so I imagine I will spend my days mostly doing nothing but longing for an early death. Regardless, my mental well-being should not come before the rest of the community, and Minion has been able to empathize and comprehend what others are thinking about me, thus understanding in turn that I am the most unhealthy individual here.

Furthermore, it is making others uncomfortable here due to the fact that I have only touched Quake 1. They desire to strike up conversations about the other Quake games, but due to my lack of ability to compare them, I am therefore at a loss to do such. And thus am in turn distressing them further.

I have always had low self-confidence, fearing I am going to ruin things or become a bad person. So thus I have fulfilled all prophecies. This is all my fault.

I shall remain to chat on the wall, seeing that I likely am not hurting anyone as long as I remain here, but I shall no longer expand with content or do any sort of administering. I just hope that there is still some light for the Wikia and that I didn't destroy it too much.